using this as a place for my emotional ranting.

you're not here. you haven't been here for quite some time, and there has been so many little instances when i wished that i could have talked to you or seen you for a split-second, when i needed you and your words, or just to see that you've been doing okay. yes my friend, i need to know every now and then what's going on in your life. it's becoming apparent that lately, you aren't telling me anything.

yes i know things have been rough and tough for you, and you're trying to focus and clear your head. it's understandable, i guess. but still, i expected something more from you.

in your times of pain and confusions, i told you'd i'd be there. the door's always open, i always make myself available to talk or just listen. so is it too much for you to put yourself aside, just for a moment, to wonder how i have been doing? to see if i'm alright?

once upon a december

last christmas i gave you my heart

but the very next day

you gave it away

this year

to save me from tears

i'll give it to someone special

.... that's my favorite cheesy christmas song.

it's that time of year again. you feel kind of lonely, though surrounded by people.

so i apply for dorming today at 9AM.

i'm thrown off by how you're putting things differently these days.

i'm sad because i miss someone who no longer exists... or do you?